My Hormone-Colored Daze

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Credit or apologies to the late Dr. Seuss for his book My Many Colored Days.
My Hormone-Colored Daze of PMS
by Kim Moldofsky

How sunny I am when days are yellow.
Just so content and feeling mellow.
I can move mountains if I choose!
Or maybe just sip a latte and buy some shoes.

Purple days are carefree and bright
Full of energy through day and night.
My day is productive; I get things done,
At night I relax and have some fun.

On orange days I’m giving off good vibrations
My body’s primed for ovulation!
I’m feeling sexy; I’m in the groove;
I shake my booty when I move.

On gray days clouds begin to form,
My perceptions change from the norm.
I’m in a hormone-created haze,
That enshrouds my brain for the next few days.

And then some days are blue and sad.
I fret. I pout. I get really mad.
It’s not enough to merely frown,
I fuss until tears trickle down.

Brown days are chocolaty- smooth and rich.
If I don’t get some I become a real bitch.
Candy and cookies I must devour
To keep my mood from turning sour.

Some days are blotchy like my skin.
I feel bloated, though I used to feel thin.
I get grumpier by the second;
It’s the price I pay for being fecund.*

The red days come with cramps and pain.
Reminds me I’m a woman again.
I’ve got my period; I’m on the rag,
I tend to whine, complain and nag.

It’s over. Finally, I’m me!
And then…
The whole darn cycle starts again….

*fecund= capable of producing offspring