Tuesday, July 19, 2016

From Frankie Bergstein @SuckItAynRand on Twitter.
I've yet to receive a cease and desist letter from the Grace and Frankie crew, so here's my imaginary recap of the Grace and Frankie product development, okay vibrator development, story arc. You can read Episode 1 here.

When we last saw Grace and Frankie, Grace was working diligently on their business plan to develop a vibrator for old, arthritic women while Frankie was, well, being Frankie.

As Episode 2 opens we see Grace working on a shiny new computer, one she purchased in an effort to erase the "naughty" browsing history she created doing vibrator research. She still has a bottle on hand sanitizer nearby.

Not surprisingly, Grace continues to do the bulk of the work on the business plan, but she's okay with that. Grace is feeling invigorated and more positive than she's been in a while now that she's facing a business challenge, as opposed to a personal one, In fact, she's a big cheerleader when it comes to Frankie's art show.

The show is a success, or at least successful enough that Frankie commits to developing artwork for the vibrator line.

Grace channels Frankie's newfound enthusiasm by asking her to come up with at least three ideas to define and support their developing brand's visual identity.

Frankie develops three concepts:

1) By vaginas for vaginas

Frankie once again tries her hand (um, vagina) at painting and comes up with something very similar (see above) to what was ultimately rejected for the yam lube after her contract with Say Grace ended. The brand message is one of female empowerment as indicated by bold, abstract prints (and, of course, vaginal painting).

2) Not dead yet. 


These visuals represent the perfect marriage of Georgia O'Keefe's larger than life vaginal flowers and the mysterious, starkly phallic corpse flower. The notoriously slow-to-bloom corpse flower's Latin name, Amorphophallus titanum, translates into "misshapen phallic giant."  However, Frankie proudly, if mistakenly, explains the Latin name to Grace as the "giant phallus of sexual desire," a perfect fit for their brand!

This visual identity pushes societal conventions aside.

Frankie explains: Who says women peak sexually at 40? Okay, maybe we did peak a few years back, but we're still here and we still want to have orgasms. They're fun! They feel good! Like the corpse flower, it may take us a while to get going, but we need to let women know they have at least one more glorious burst waiting to be released.


3) Dainty old lady


Hoping to force a choice between concepts 1 and 2, Frankie's third concept is a treacly pastel-laden take-off of the incontinence product, Poise Pads. 


Frankie's plan succeeds to some degree. We see Grace wiping her hands with sanitizer as she give Frankie feedback on the concepts. A savvy businesswoman, Grace, is aware that Frankie is trying to force her hand. Grace coyly asks a lot of questions, feigning interest in the Dainty old lady concept.

Concerned, Frankie gets anxious and more animated as Grace asks more questions about the wrong concept. She eventually reveals her hand and tells Grace to move on to the other ideas.

Although Grace is disgusted by the concept of vagina art, she's somewhat drawn to the brazen look of Frankie's first concept, By vaginas, for vaginas. She likes story of female empowerment. But mostly she can't can past the idea of a paint brush in Frankie's hoo-ha.

This leave both women focusing on the Not dead yet concept.

Grace: I think this really nails it. Remember we told the kids that we were going into business making products for women like us? Not dead yet leaves room for us to create all sorts of things, not just...sex toys.

Frankie: Yes! We can do so much to help women our age blossom..bloom...burst!

Grace (enthused): I think you just found the name for our company!

Frankie: Blossom, Bloom, Burst? It sounds like a law firm/florist.

Grace: We'll pick one of those words. They're all Bs.

Frankie: A tribute to Babe! Where is she, by the way? I think we need to include her in important business meeting like this.



.......

Stay tuned for Season 3, Episode 3 of Grace and Frankie, "The field trip."

Grace and Frankie Season 3, Episode 2, an Unofficial Recap

From Frankie Bergstein @SuckItAynRand on Twitter.
I've yet to receive a cease and desist letter from the Grace and Frankie crew, so here's my imaginary recap of the Grace and Frankie product development, okay vibrator development, story arc. You can read Episode 1 here.

When we last saw Grace and Frankie, Grace was working diligently on their business plan to develop a vibrator for old, arthritic women while Frankie was, well, being Frankie.

As Episode 2 opens we see Grace working on a shiny new computer, one she purchased in an effort to erase the "naughty" browsing history she created doing vibrator research. She still has a bottle on hand sanitizer nearby.

Not surprisingly, Grace continues to do the bulk of the work on the business plan, but she's okay with that. Grace is feeling invigorated and more positive than she's been in a while now that she's facing a business challenge, as opposed to a personal one, In fact, she's a big cheerleader when it comes to Frankie's art show.

The show is a success, or at least successful enough that Frankie commits to developing artwork for the vibrator line.

Grace channels Frankie's newfound enthusiasm by asking her to come up with at least three ideas to define and support their developing brand's visual identity.

Frankie develops three concepts:

1) By vaginas for vaginas

Frankie once again tries her hand (um, vagina) at painting and comes up with something very similar (see above) to what was ultimately rejected for the yam lube after her contract with Say Grace ended. The brand message is one of female empowerment as indicated by bold, abstract prints (and, of course, vaginal painting).

2) Not dead yet. 


These visuals represent the perfect marriage of Georgia O'Keefe's larger than life vaginal flowers and the mysterious, starkly phallic corpse flower. The notoriously slow-to-bloom corpse flower's Latin name, Amorphophallus titanum, translates into "misshapen phallic giant."  However, Frankie proudly, if mistakenly, explains the Latin name to Grace as the "giant phallus of sexual desire," a perfect fit for their brand!

This visual identity pushes societal conventions aside.

Frankie explains: Who says women peak sexually at 40? Okay, maybe we did peak a few years back, but we're still here and we still want to have orgasms. They're fun! They feel good! Like the corpse flower, it may take us a while to get going, but we need to let women know they have at least one more glorious burst waiting to be released.


3) Dainty old lady


Hoping to force a choice between concepts 1 and 2, Frankie's third concept is a treacly pastel-laden take-off of the incontinence product, Poise Pads. 


Frankie's plan succeeds to some degree. We see Grace wiping her hands with sanitizer as she give Frankie feedback on the concepts. A savvy businesswoman, Grace, is aware that Frankie is trying to force her hand. Grace coyly asks a lot of questions, feigning interest in the Dainty old lady concept.

Concerned, Frankie gets anxious and more animated as Grace asks more questions about the wrong concept. She eventually reveals her hand and tells Grace to move on to the other ideas.

Although Grace is disgusted by the concept of vagina art, she's somewhat drawn to the brazen look of Frankie's first concept, By vaginas, for vaginas. She likes story of female empowerment. But mostly she can't can past the idea of a paint brush in Frankie's hoo-ha.

This leave both women focusing on the Not dead yet concept.

Grace: I think this really nails it. Remember we told the kids that we were going into business making products for women like us? Not dead yet leaves room for us to create all sorts of things, not just...sex toys.

Frankie: Yes! We can do so much to help women our age blossom..bloom...burst!

Grace (enthused): I think you just found the name for our company!

Frankie: Blossom, Bloom, Burst? It sounds like a law firm/florist.

Grace: We'll pick one of those words. They're all Bs.

Frankie: A tribute to Babe! Where is she, by the way? I think we need to include her in important business meeting like this.



.......

Stay tuned for Season 3, Episode 3 of Grace and Frankie, "The field trip."

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Grace and Frankie Season 3 speculative sneak peak
All right, so I mentioned my plans to post a speculative look at Season 3 of Netflix's Grace and Frankie. Well, here it is. Read on for my take
of Season 3 Episode 1 with special attention paid to the pair's business development plans.

Season 3 starts where Season 2 left off. Former businesswoman Grace (Jane Fonda) dives into research related to their virabtor-for-arthritic-women company. Meanwhile, Frankie (Lily Tomlin) anxiously tries to reclaim her standing as an artist with her exhibit just weeks away. Her tried and try combo of vlogging and weed help her calm down, even if they don't do much to improve her focus.

The pair have yet to commit to a name for their company because "Why Bother?" doesn't send the right message. Indeed, they want older arthritic women to bother! They continue to toss around potential names, including a favorite that is an homage to their friend Babe: Sexy Older Babe, or SOB. It's a current front-runner.

In a small effort to make amends to their ex-wives, Robert and Sol promise to file the legal paperwork for free once the women pin down the details of their company.

Grace throws herself into online research. At various points in the episode, she is found washing her hands or using hand sanitizer that she placed next to her laptop.

Frankie is in her studio trying to paint, but mostly smoking pot. Frankie leaves her studio and heads to the kitchen in search of munchies. Grace then showers her with facts.

Grace: Can you believe there's a $3,000 golden dildo?

It's unclear whether Frankie mishears or simply takes joy in making Grace repeat herself.

Frankie (dismissively): Grace, you are not a dog person. Why would you spend $3,000 on a goldendoodle?

Grace (annoyed): A golden vibrator that sells for $3,000! (lighthearted) Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Frankie, being familiar with the topic of vibrators, responds with a barrage of interesting factoids

Grace (smug): Well, aren't you the ghost of vibrators past? But do you know where they are headed?

Frankie (shrieks with laughter): Of course, I know where they are headed: into the vaginas of arthritic older women!

Frankie heads back to the studio.

Grace (shouts): I mean do you know anything about teledildonics?!

Frankie does an about face.

Frankie (sobers up): What now?

Grace: It means you use an app on your phone to control the (stammers, motions with hands). Here, let me show you.

The women huddle over the laptop screen uttering hmms, oohs, aahs and looks of astonishment.

End scene.

Later in the episode Grace's daughter Mallory (Brooklyn Decker) goes into labor. The grandpas were supposed to watch the older grandkids, but the men are stuck in negotiations for their new home, so the kids get dropped off at the beach house.

Unwilling to do something as frivolous as play in the sand, Grace sits the kids down at her computer, sets them up on a favorite website, and fixes herself a drink. She settles down across from them. They click and smile until their eyes glaze over. Grace's eyes begin to glaze a bit as well.

Frankie enters the kitchen in search of another nosh.

Grandkids (giggling) to Frankie: Do you have horns?

Grace (aghast): Kids!

Frankie's artistic confidence ignites as she describes Michaelangelo's Moses sculpture. She starts to explain how it led to the rumor that Jews have horns.

Meanwhile, Grace walks over to the kids and sees a "horny grandmas" pop-up ad on their screen, a result of her earlier research.

Grace (demanding with forced cheer): Kids, go find the sunscreen; we're heading out to the beach!

They excitedly scramble out of the kitchen. Frankie returns to her studio refreshed still talking to herself about art.

Grace unconsciously squirts hand sanitizer onto her palm, rubs hers hands, downs her drink, and follows the kids outside.

End scene.

Click for Episode 2 in which they develop the brand's visual identity.

Grace and Frankie Sneak Peek, Season 3, Episode 1

Grace and Frankie Season 3 speculative sneak peak
All right, so I mentioned my plans to post a speculative look at Season 3 of Netflix's Grace and Frankie. Well, here it is. Read on for my take
of Season 3 Episode 1 with special attention paid to the pair's business development plans.

Season 3 starts where Season 2 left off. Former businesswoman Grace (Jane Fonda) dives into research related to their virabtor-for-arthritic-women company. Meanwhile, Frankie (Lily Tomlin) anxiously tries to reclaim her standing as an artist with her exhibit just weeks away. Her tried and try combo of vlogging and weed help her calm down, even if they don't do much to improve her focus.

The pair have yet to commit to a name for their company because "Why Bother?" doesn't send the right message. Indeed, they want older arthritic women to bother! They continue to toss around potential names, including a favorite that is an homage to their friend Babe: Sexy Older Babe, or SOB. It's a current front-runner.

In a small effort to make amends to their ex-wives, Robert and Sol promise to file the legal paperwork for free once the women pin down the details of their company.

Grace throws herself into online research. At various points in the episode, she is found washing her hands or using hand sanitizer that she placed next to her laptop.

Frankie is in her studio trying to paint, but mostly smoking pot. Frankie leaves her studio and heads to the kitchen in search of munchies. Grace then showers her with facts.

Grace: Can you believe there's a $3,000 golden dildo?

It's unclear whether Frankie mishears or simply takes joy in making Grace repeat herself.

Frankie (dismissively): Grace, you are not a dog person. Why would you spend $3,000 on a goldendoodle?

Grace (annoyed): A golden vibrator that sells for $3,000! (lighthearted) Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Frankie, being familiar with the topic of vibrators, responds with a barrage of interesting factoids

Grace (smug): Well, aren't you the ghost of vibrators past? But do you know where they are headed?

Frankie (shrieks with laughter): Of course, I know where they are headed: into the vaginas of arthritic older women!

Frankie heads back to the studio.

Grace (shouts): I mean do you know anything about teledildonics?!

Frankie does an about face.

Frankie (sobers up): What now?

Grace: It means you use an app on your phone to control the (stammers, motions with hands). Here, let me show you.

The women huddle over the laptop screen uttering hmms, oohs, aahs and looks of astonishment.

End scene.

Later in the episode Grace's daughter Mallory (Brooklyn Decker) goes into labor. The grandpas were supposed to watch the older grandkids, but the men are stuck in negotiations for their new home, so the kids get dropped off at the beach house.

Unwilling to do something as frivolous as play in the sand, Grace sits the kids down at her computer, sets them up on a favorite website, and fixes herself a drink. She settles down across from them. They click and smile until their eyes glaze over. Grace's eyes begin to glaze a bit as well.

Frankie enters the kitchen in search of another nosh.

Grandkids (giggling) to Frankie: Do you have horns?

Grace (aghast): Kids!

Frankie's artistic confidence ignites as she describes Michaelangelo's Moses sculpture. She starts to explain how it led to the rumor that Jews have horns.

Meanwhile, Grace walks over to the kids and sees a "horny grandmas" pop-up ad on their screen, a result of her earlier research.

Grace (demanding with forced cheer): Kids, go find the sunscreen; we're heading out to the beach!

They excitedly scramble out of the kitchen. Frankie returns to her studio refreshed still talking to herself about art.

Grace unconsciously squirts hand sanitizer onto her palm, rubs hers hands, downs her drink, and follows the kids outside.

End scene.

Click for Episode 2 in which they develop the brand's visual identity.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

An Unofficial Sneak Peek at Season 3 of Netflix's Grace and Frankie

Season 3 sneak peak of Grace and Frankie
This is your warning, when I say I'm going to publish an unofficial sneak peek at next year's season of Grace and Frankie, what I mean is I'm making sh*t up about what's ahead on the show. No behind-the-scenes tours or special blogger privileges here.

You see, I nearly lost it during the final moments of the season finale when Grace (Jane Fonda) put her arm around Frankie (Lily Tomlin) and boldly declared they were going into business together:

We're making vibrators for women with arthritis!

The whole scene is destined to be a classic.

Grace and Frankie aspire to make a vibrator with an ergonomic grip that does its job with out too much pressure or stress on delicate body parts. And the device will be accompanied by instructions large type print.

The bottom line is that the two of them are starting a company that will make a physical product. And I work in a business incubator for people who aspire to make physical products (as opposed to software).

A few weeks ago I read Disrupted (affiliate link) by Dan Lyons. Dan was a lifelong journalist who'd worked his way up to be the technology editor at Newsweek. Then, like so many of his peers, he received the boot. At age 50, he had to start over. After all, it's not easy to find well-paying jobs in journalism these days. 

Dan landed at a software start-up, where he was nearly twice the age of his co-workers. Hijinks ensued and he wrote a book about. And now he writes for my favorite show, HBO's Silicon Valley.

Though I lack a traditional career path, I have a Master's degree and I'm good at pivoting, as they say in the start-up world. I've been a dolphin trainer, social worker, team development leader, marketing consultant, freelancer writer, and social media darling. And let's not forget I'm also mom to two teenage boys.

Aside from parenting and marriage, this blog, which I started in 2005, represents one of my life's most sustained commitments. But even when it comes to blogging, I've reinvented myself over the years leaving a sprinkling of websites in my wake. I'm currently most active on The Maker Mom and STEM Kids Chicago, but even those have slowed down since I started my gig at the incubator. However much I slowed down on this site, I could just never bring myself to cut the chord and hit delete.

Past careers aside, I felt a certain kinship as I read Dan's book. I began to think of myself as his female counterpart: a career-changing mom who's worked out of her home (and pajamas) for most of the last 20 years takes a part-time job in a scrappy start-up incubator in the Chicago. Hijinks ensue.

They have, believe me.

Unlike Dan, however, I'm loving the job and have no plans to write a tell-all book. That said, when Grace announced that she and Frankie had an idea for a product that they want to bring to market...BINGO! 

I know that story. I live that story every day. Or at least twice a week when I'm at the incubator. 

I am the female version of Dan Lyons! I can write the story of Grace and Frankie as they develop their product.

Bonus: I'm also a bit like Grace. I have arthritis, wear a brace on my right wrist (due to typing, not masturbation), and have trouble deciphering tiny print.

In short, I felt called to write a storyline for Season 3.

To be clear, actual, paid Hollywood types are already writing the Season 3 scripts. Or perhaps they've already done so. "TV producers love it when you send them scripts on spec. Why don't you do that?" my husband advised me the other day (but only because he was annoyed with me).

I don't plan to write actual scripts and send them to Marta Kaufman, Jane, or Lily. This blog space will do fine. I'm just going to outline Grace and Frankie's story arc as they develop their product. I was compelled to jot out my thoughts the other day. Compelled! 

Admittedly, writing fan fiction for a show about two elderly women whose ex-husbands ran off and got married to each other sounds, well, lame. But, hey, someone has forged this path already. And anyway, the show's main theme is something that has been key in my life: reinvention.

So stay tuned for a completely fictional sneak peak at Season 3 of Grace and Frankie!