Friday, May 26, 2006

Bar Mitzvah Disco

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We are attending a bar mitzvah this weekend. It looks like we'll be invited to about three a year for the next couple of years until the explosion hits and our kids and their friends participate in this rite of passage.

Do you recall the bar and bat mitzvot of our youth? I remember a boy French-kissing one of my friends for the first time on the day of her bat mitzvah, "you are a woman now" the 13 year-old kisser pronounced. And when she told us girls about it, we sighed dreamily.

Those were more innocent times. While our behavior wasn't perfect at those parties, we were attempting, in some fashion to be like adults (you know, sneaking drinks from the bar). I'm shocked at what I've seen at recent events. (Caution: I'm closing in on forty and beginning to sound like a grumpy old lady.)

When we were kids the boys dressed in suits or at least slacks and a jacket. I can't believe what schlumps the boys look like these days-almost none in suits, shirts untucked even in synagogue.

And the girls dress like sluts. The anorectic adolescent who sat front of us at services was wearing some low-waisted black peasant skirt-y thing with decidedly un-peasant gold sequined waist band and a low-cut top. She defined the prostitot look.

But slutty dress aside, I watched the first slow dance, the boy of honor holding his chosen girl arms-length away. I nudged DH, “Isn’t that heartbreakingly cute? It’s so innocent and awkward.” “I’ll tell you awkward,” DH replied. "He’s holding her like that so she won’t know he has a massive erection.” I'm glad I was never a 13 year-old boy.

At a (girl) cousin's recent bat mitzvah there was a DJ and lots of dancing. A couple month’s later when we were getting ready to go to a (boy) cousin’s bar mitzvah, Smartypants asked what they’d be doing at the party. “What do you think you’ll do?” I asked.

“Well, girls like to dance. At J’s party, I think there will be mostly boys, so they’ll probably just stand around and play Gameboys."

It turns out J had a DJ and lots of dancing too. And, lured by the chance to win some kind of prize, Smartypants even joined in some of the dance contests.

This weekend's bar mitzvah will be as always, I reminded the boys, at a synagogue. The party, however, is going to take place at a minor league baseball game. We're looking forward to it.


Anonymous said...
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jim mcnelis said...

yikes, prostitot? kinderwhore?

send them all to purity balls! ;)

ok maybe not...