Monday, March 09, 2015

College Road Trip: Cancelled

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The whole college thing is a complicated dance. You want your kids to lead because in the end this largely about your child and his choice. But on the other hand, if you simply relegate yourself to the role of follower, your child might might miss out on certain opportunities, like actually being organized enough to apply to college the fall of his senior year of high school.

The college counselor at our high school is a big advocate of campus visits. So with Spring Break on the horizon we started planning an epic college visit road trips: 4-5 schools in as many states with brief stop in Canada to see some family. My son made the requisite school tour reservations (I'm told admissions offices do not appreciate working through parents) and we checked the dates with our dog sitter.

Last Friday I assured my husband that our trip was a go before he left town last weekend, but I changed my mind by the time I picked him up at the airport on Sunday.

We didn't cancel as a punishment to my son. And it's not that we feared the "fun" of the four of us being packed into my sedan for a nearly a week, knowing that at least 50% of our children would be tired/bored/hungry/grumpy. We didn't back out because of the thought of 4 near-adults sharing a single hotel room (not to mention bathroom) made us twitchy.

We cancelled because I was the driving force behind the trip. We planned to see an urban liberal arts school, an urban highly selective technical school and a technical school in a small city. All good possibilities, my son agreed, but all schools of my choosing.

My son didn't oppose any of the schools. He remains open to the thought of someday attending any one of them, but he didn't express a passion for any of them. I wouldn't say that our trip would have been a total waste of money, but I also don't think it would have been money wisely spent at this time.

If he wants to get a sense of different campuses there are plenty we can see in Chicagoland. And when he decides he wants to see a school that's far from home, we can make a visit. (Or, in the case of a certain highly selective school or two, we might wait until he gets accepted before planning a campus tour.) Maybe it won't be a big family trip--chances are it won't. In fact, maybe he'll head off alone to a university that one of his friends attends--that's how I made my college visits.

How are you handling the college review and admissions process? How do you encourage your child to take an active role in it? And doesn't this seem so much more intense than when we went through it?


Kristi said...

Crushing for you but it sounds like a good decision.

Allison Tesnar said...

My dad took me to the University of Illinois...twice. He said that's my option. We couldn't afford out of state tuition and I didn't even consider Northwestern b/c it was too close.

I really like your approach and hope the kiddos appreciate the freedom you are giving them to choose.

TheNextMartha said...

So complicated and hard to know what to do. I know you made the right choice for your family and he'll figure it out too.