Thursday, July 20, 2017

(Im) Peach Pie Recipe

Im Peach Pie recipe
History has shown that I'm unlikely to win the pie contest at the local farmer's market, so I only enter if I have a reason that is compelling enough to help me ignore the sting of defeat. For example, one year I made a cricket flour crust. The sweet filling masked the Earthiness of the cricket flour (and it was blended with traditional flour, anyway).

I hadn't planned to enter this year, but then, inspiration struck when I wondered aloud on Facebook whether one could make a peach pie with nectarines. Duh! It occurred to me as many friends chimed in to remind me that, that would be a nectarine pie. I hadn't heard of such a thing. But that got me thinking about fake peach pies and fake orange things and fake presidents.

I had my 2017 pie! It didn't win the contest, but it won on social media, which is all I really wanted, anyway.

PEACH PIE description:

This pie is the BEST, probably better than any PIE that has been entered into this contest for the last TEN YEARS. I had to build a WALL around my kitchen last night to keep my family from eating the pie. That's how good it is. ENJOY!

The BEAUTIFUL bottom crust was made with oil, flour, salt, baking powder, sugar, and vinegar.

The TREMENDOUS filling was made from nectarines (#FAKEPEACHES) sugar, lemon juice, salt from dried up liberal tears (Kidding! Just the regular kind), cornstarch, covfefe (a proprietary blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cardamom), and vanilla.

The flaky top crust was made with flour, butter, and salt and has an egg whitewash.

I neglected to mention that my recipe riffed off of a nectarine pie recipe that was supposedly a favorite of the Obama White House. (Its crust calls for butter, lard, AND cream. Can you imagine?)

Several people looked at the pie and clearly saw "I'm peach" and thought it was simply a cute declaration. Others picked up on my more subversive message, even without the description. #winning.

I'll save you the search. Here's my triple berry cricket pie from 2014.